Sunday, March 30th, 2003
Sunday, March 30th, 2003
The scene opens up in Connecticutt in the backyard of Michael Diamond’s mansion. The wrestling ring is set up above the swimming pool. There are about 200 VIP fans standing around cheering and watching. Trent Brown and Keith Kincaid are seen sitting at a picnic table by the pool.
TB: It’s maybe a tad cold today but this is perhaps the biggest party in HWA history, more than a normal Survival . . .
KK: . . . A party! Let’s get these boring matches over with and start the party!
"Sugar" by System of a Down hits and from a nearby pool house out steps Mental Mark with Mr. Bear and walks to the pool and hops into the ring.
KK: This is his first match in a while. I have to say I think this might be the most wacked out guy I’ve seen in my time here at HWA. And I’ve seen some nutjobs.
Michael Harding comes running out next.
KK: Who is this guy?
He slides into the ring and starts punching Mark. Mark hits him in the face still holfing Mr. Bear but Cunningham the ref doesn’t thing anything of it although Bear secretly is weighted down. Harding goes down holding his face in pain as the bell rings. Mark pulls Harding back up and puts him on his shoulders, then slams him down with a whiplash.
TB: There goes the Strait Jacket.
Mark covers 1 . . .2 . . 3!
KK: That was an impressive win for Mark there.
“Just Got Wicked” by Cold hits, and the fans in Michael Diamond’s backyard look towards the ramp, only to see Tha Aftermath, led by the HWA’s NEW President, The Chosen One, walking down the ramp and to the pool walkway.
TB: And last weekend, here is the man who beat Grimjack and became the PRESIDENT of the HWA, TCO!
KK: The fans are going nuts, finally, a good guy back in the front office.
TCO, Anubis, Morgoth and Sett get into the ring and pose for the cameras in the audience. Morgoth and Sett adjust their tag titles and Anubis looks on as TCO gets a mic and holds it towards the crowd as they cheer.
TCO: At Infinity Minus One… the GOOD guys got one BACK from the crooked bastards running this place! A lot of things happened at Infinity, but first things first…all HWA superstars in the back, get out here, tonight… I’m giving you the Inaugural Presidential Address! And GRIMJACK, that includes you, I’ve got a special surprise for you indeed.
TCO leans against the ropes as the HWA superstars file out onto the ramp, including all of the Legacy Department, and Grimjack who stands out front and center.
TCO: Grim, you may have thought you did pretty well not allowing me to hold the title, but you forgot one key thing my friend… after some extensive… and very expensive legal analysis of your little “act” as President, I’ve got a major loophole. I can be the number one CONTENDER to the title, and then when I win, I can appoint a NEW President. So, roll that and smoke it, asshole.
The talk of the World Heavyweight Championship brings out the reigning champ, Michael Diamond, to the front! He’s got the title around his waist and looks into the ring.
TCO: So Diamond… it’s all respect man, but…
TCO points at Diamond…
TCO: I WILL get my shot at you, you can guarantee that.
Diamond smiles and motions to his title, then does a little show for the crowd. The crowd eats it up and starts to chant “Diamond!” while some others chant “TCO!”. Diamond taunts TCO, and TCO smiles and nods.
TCO: But back to you Grimjack, upon some more company sponsored legal searching, your contract up with a problem… you’re no longer the President, so we have a problem. Your contract still stands, but you need to do something to earn a paycheck. A very nice paycheck indeed… in fact, as you’ll get in a minute… you may just be the most expensive janitor the HWA has ever had!
KK: Did TCO just say…
TB: Janitor?!
Grim has finally found a mic, and is yelling into it…
Grim: Damien, I don’t think…
TCO: CUT HIS DAMN MIC!
Grim: You can’t do…
Grim’s mic cuts off as he yells. There are some assorted snickers from behind him, and Tha Aftermath members are rolling with laughter.
TCO: That’s right, janitor. Or popcorn seller, you know, that could be really useful right now. I think we have an opening!
Grim starts yelling at TCO, but TCO passes him off like nothing.
TCO: I’ll be nice, popcorn seller it is!
Just then, TCO’s cell phone rings, and he picks it up. His face drops, and then he hangs up.
TCO: I’m sorry Grim, that phone call was from my HR Director. That job was filled earlier today.
A smile comes across Grim’s face and he begins to laugh…
TCO: But… we haven’t filled the janitor position, so starting NOW, YOU ARE AN OFFICIAL MEMBER OF… the HWA janitorial crew.
The crowd goes nuts and Grimjack is fuming. Just then, a man with a mop and bucket and in a janitor’s uniform parts the crowd and says something to Grimjack, who then tosses the bucket and mop into the crowd and storms back into the locker room.
TCO: Aww, no, Grim, c’mon back now. Billy Joe is an EXCELLENT supervisor, sure he might be a bit mentally challenged, but that’s no way to treat him! Grim, Grim come back! You’re now part of the world’s finest urinal cake retrieval, dispersal and replacement service!
The crowd of HWA superstars begins to disperse when TCO shakes his head.
TCO: Not so fast. There’s something else. Ryan fucking Maxem, get your ass over here. For your little stunt at Infinity caused me to sit and think how I’m going to make your life a fucking hell until I decide to relinquish this job.
Maxem walks to the front of the crowd, with a snide look on his face.
TCO: You see… that mark on my neck… it ain’t shit to what I’ve endured. All it did was stir up some past experiences I’d rather not get into. Some things that I thought I had put behind me. So this week, when I wasn’t researching Grim’s little act, I was planning on how to destroy you. You, one of the people who were here in the beginning of this company, I’m going to make sure I cripple you so that even after I leave, you’ll remember me.
TCO: I came out triumphant at Infinity, and because of that, I’m not just going to hurt you, I’m going to end your career at the highest levels possible. I jumped your ass two weeks ago because you put Morgy out for a while… now you’ve made it fuckin’ personal. You won’t just be an Aftermath victim, I’m going to make you my BITCH!
TCO: Starting next week, I’m going to showcase exactly what power I have. Next week, you’re running a gauntlet in the main event. Tha Aftermath Gauntlet. One by one, you’re gonna have to beat Anubis, Morgoth, Sett and finally, ME, in order to win. Hell, I don’t think you could beat one of us, so you have fun trying to get through all four of us, the four ELITE.
TCO: And finally… to fulfill my contractual obligations… I’m making a match for the next PPV, and I’m finally going to destroy the Legacy Department. At the next PPV, you’re gonna see a full stable tag match, Tha Aftermath vs. Legacy Department. You fucker’s are going down – It started when I got the power, now I’m going to finish the job. Your days are numbered, because Tha Aftermath is back and in full effect!
TCO drops his mic, and puts his fist in the air. The LD members are pissed, and Anubis, Morgoth and Sett all stand up on the ropes and the fans around Diamond’s house go nuts.
TB: That… was a blockbuster announcement!
Commercial Break.
Lance's music plays and we see Lance emerge from Michael Diamonds pool house and the crowed cheers.
KK: What the hell was he doing in that pool house?
TB: Well Kieth, my guess would be preparing for his match tonight.
KK: Good point.
Lance climbs into the ring and climbs up on one the turnbuckles and taunts the crowed. "Down on me" by Jackyl plays and the crowed boos then red, silver, and blue pyro blasts next to the patio and we see Billy Styles open the patio door and step out then he flexes a pose or two then walks to the ring slides under the bottom rope and then flexes another pose as pyro blast frome each ring post. As soon as the pyro stops Lance starts laying punches into the head of Billy Styles and the crowed cheers as the ref calls for the bell to start the match.
KK: Hey now that attack wasn't called for.
TB: Oh get over it and just call the match.
Back in the ring Styles is on his face and Lace is sitting on his back pounding left and rights into the back of Styels' head. Then Lance pulls Styles up off the mat by his hair then hits him with a thunderous DDT.
TB: That looked like it hurt.
We then hear some one go "WOO HOO" then the camera focuses to the patio and we see Mental Mark standing there with a mic in his right hand then a beer in his left and his bears hanging from his belt loops.
KK: What the hell is wrong with Mark and what is he doing here.
TB: I can answer one of those for you Kieth, he seems to be drunk. Other than that I have no clue.
Mental Mark: HWA Is in the house!! Lets get this party started.
Mark takes a swig of beer then walks to the ring and climbs in then he finishes his beer and stares at Lance. Lance walks up to Mark and we can hear what lance says to Mark over the mic that he is holding.
Lance: Hey Mark, I just thought you might like to know, Styles has been insulting your bears. I think he doesn't like bears man.
KK: What does Lance think he's doing?
TB: He's getting Mark to attack Styles.
KK: That's stupid.
TB: No, that's just smart is what it is.
Back in the ring Mark looks at Styles, with anger in his eyes, as he staggers to his feet. Mark charges Styles and smashes the beer bottle over his head and Styles falls back to the mat. Mark picks styles back up off the mat, tosses him over his soulders then Hit's him with the Strait Jacket.
TB: Oh my God. What an attack by Mental Mark.
Lance runs over to a prone Billy Styles covers him and the ref makes the count. 1...2...3. Mark stands Lance up and Lance gets a look of fear in his eyes until Mark raises his hand in victory.
KK: Now that was cheep.
TB: Oh get over it.
Mental Mark: Come on Lance let's go get a beer.
Mark and Lance walk out of the ring and back into Diamonds house to get some beers. *The HWATron turned on as the fans in the bleachers turned their heads to see "Your Hero" Michael Diamond walking down the halls. Cheers rose up from the crowd as Michael walked around his mansion, stopping people as they walked by.*
Michael Diamond: Hey, have you seen Fudge? No? Damn! Hey! Have you happened to see Fudge anywhere? No? Okay, thanks. You two haven't seen Fudge anywhere have you? Alright, thanks anyway.
*Michael continued walking down the halls as he walked into the kitchen where his butler, Martin, was currently whipping up some treats and stiring up some beverages up for the many house guests they were currently hosting.*
Michael Diamond: Martin, have you happened to see Fudge anywhere?
Martin: I'm sorry sir, I don't think he's even arrived yet.
Michael Diamond: Well where the hell could he be? I mean... it's not like he doesn't know where the HWA is having their next event! It's in my backyard for God's sake!
Martin: Perhaps he's stuck in traffic sir.
*Michael shrugged his shoulders as he walked over to the refrigerator and opened it as he leaned in and began looking at the various items.*
Michael Diamond: Martin, where's that chocalate cake you made for dessert?
Martin: It should be in there sir.
Michael Diamond: Well it's not.
*A loud burping sound was heard as Michael pulled his head out from the refridgerator and stared over at Martin. Martin looked back at Michael as Michael slowly closed the refridgerator door and turned around to see Mental Mark standing there, licking his fingers. Feeling eyes upon him, Mark turned and looked over at Michael.*
Mental Mark: What?
*Remains of chocalate frosting and cake were evident around Mark's mouth as Michael just stared at Mental Mark.*
Michael Diamond: Mark... did you eat the chocolate cake that was in here?
Mental Mark: Chocolate cake? No... never saw a chocolate cake. Nope, no siree. Never ate no chocolate cake.
Michael Diamond: Don't lie to me Mark.
Mental Mark: It was... um... Mr. Bear! Yeah, it was Mr. Bear! I told him he shouldn't have eaten it! But you know how bears are.
Michael Diamond: Mark!
Mental Mark: Okay, okay... it was me. I'm sorry, I didn't know it was for anyone.
Michael Diamond: That's alright Mark, where is it?
Mental Mark: Where is what?
Michael Diamond: The cake!
Mental Mark: Oh... that. Well... um... see, the thing is... I sorta, kinda ate... it.
Michael Diamond: The whole thing!?
Mental Mark: Of course not! No, I could never eat that huge thing all by myself. That's why Mr. and Mrs. Bear helped me.
*Mark smiled over at Michael as Michael glared at him. He began to walk towards Mark, intent on doing some serious damage to him but Martin's hands were quickly on Michael's shoulders and leading him out of the kitchen.*
Martin: Come now sir, why don't you go see if Fudge has arrived yet.
*Michael mumbled some words under his breath as he was escorted outside the kitchen by Mark, leaving him alone.*
Mental Mark: Gosh... all that talking has me parched. I wonder if they have anything to eat.
*Mark opened the fridge and began looking around as the HWATron faded to black.*
Commercial Break
Tear Away by Drowning Pool plays and Scott Sanders appears walking toward the pool/ring with Brooklyn. Sanders isn’t paying attention to Brooklyn just walking to the ring and sneering at the fans like a heel when suddenly Dark Titan steps out of the crowd and looks down at him and smiles.
TB: I can’t get over how huge Titan is! He’s bigger than Shaq!
Dark Titan grabs Sanders by the neck going for a chokeslam.
KK: Cheater! The match didn’t start yet!
Brooklyn breaks it up and hits Titan in the face with a headbutt. Titan looks pissed and gives Brooklyn a chokeslam. Suddenly though Brian Carter runs over and hits Titan in the back of the head with a chair.
KK: That’s what Titan gets. The match hasn’t started yet.
Sanders and Carter drag Titan over to the ring and toss him in.Titan is still woozy as Sanders leeps off the turnbuckle and hits a cross body block. Titan gets up and walks right into the Final Cut from Sanders. 1 . . . 2 . . . 3! Sanders gets up as the ref hands him the Title of the Damned.
TB: New champion!
Carter gets in the ring and he holds up the X-treme title as Sanders holds up the Title of the Damned.
KK: These two Legacy Departmenters are the future of HWA tag teaming I think.
TB: C4 and Brian have a good feud going. Syxx and Brian are both in the Legacy Department so you see where this match is going.
KK: Yeah I see that the Legacy Department will represent like usual.
"Headtrong" by Trapt can be heard has Brian walks out with his X-treme belt. But boos are heard as Syxx as well as the entire Legacy Department, Anderson, Grimjack, Sanders, Maxem and Abrianna walk out too. Grimjack has a bottle of Killians and he sits by the pool and puts his feet in. The rest of the Legacy Department besides Syxx and Brian stand pool side. C4’s music hits and out he comes with Conner and Mysterio. They’re in the ring and the match starts as Syxx and Brian double team C4. C4 battles back and gorilla press slams Syxx into the pool. Syxx starts splashing around yelling that he can’t swim. Grimjack dives in and swims to him to save him. Cunningham is distracted by all this and Conner is in the ring. He goes for a super kick on Brian but Brian ducks and it hits C4 instead. Conner is shocked and Cunningham makes him leave. Brian covers 1 . . . 2 . . . 3! The Legacy Department helps Grimjack and Syxx out of the water and they all get in the ring and celebrate to loud boos as Conner, Mysterio and C4 walk away looking pissed.
TB: Brian is the recipient of surprise help from Conner.
KK: That’s what happens when you try to screw the D. And did you see Grim saving Syxx’s life? They stick together.
*The HWATron sizzles to life as we see Michael Diamond in his bedroom/locker room, dressed in his wrestling attire. He is strapping the World Championship belt around his waist as Lauren lays on the bed, looking over at him. Michael turns around and sees her looking at him.*
Michael Diamond: What?
Lauren: Huh? Oh... nothing, I was just admiring you admiring yourself.
*Michael just laughed to himself as he slipped his promotional Diamondback T-Shirt on.*
Lauren: So still no sign of Fudge then, huh?
Michael Diamond: No, as far as I know he still hasn't arrived.
Lauren: Well I don't think you have anything to worry about, I know Fudge won't let you down.
Michael Diamond: Yeah, I know.
*As if on cue, the door opened and Fudge walked in, already dressed in his wrestling attire.*
Fudge: Hey Michael, sorry I'm late. I...
*Fudge cut himself short as he looked over to see Lauren laying on the bed.*
Fudge: Oh, hey Lauren.
Lauren: Hi Fudge.
*Fudge looked back over at Michael as he looked back at his tag partner, things all of a sudden becoming awkward between the pair.*
Fudge: Well... um... we're next so I'll... uh... see ya out there.
Michael Diamond: Yeah man, I'll be right behind you.
*Fudge turned around and walked out as Michael and Lauren breathed a sigh of relief. But then, the bedroom curtains parted and Mental Mark stepped out from behind them, Mr. and Mrs. Bear in his arms.*
Mental Mark: Man... now that was awkward.
*Lauren, startled by the sudden appearance of another person, screamed out as Mark responded with a scream of his own while Michael merely glared over at Mark. Mark and Lauren calmed down a bit as the two began to breath heavy.*
Mental Mark: Don't do that! You'll scare Mr. and Mrs. Bear!
*Mark lowered his head and began whispering to his bears as Michael and Lauren exchanged glances with each other. Michael then began looking around the room, wondering just how on earth Mark had managed to get into his bedroom without either him or Lauren seeing.*
Michael Diamond: Mark?
*Mark looked up, realizing that he was being talked to.*
Michael Diamond: What in the hell are you doing here!?
*As if he was wondering this himself, Mark began to look around... almost as if he was confused on where he was.*
Michael Diamond: You know what... forget it. I'm going to get going, I'll see you in a little bit.
*Michael walked over to the bed and gave Lauren a quick kiss on the cheek.*
Lauren: Good luck.
*Michael cast Mark another curious glance as he saw that, once again, Mark was conversing with his bears. Michael stood up and began to walk out of the room but was stopped by the sound of Mark's voice.*
Mental Mark: Yo Michael!
*Michael turned and faced Mark, giving him an impatient look.*
Mental Mark: Mr. Bear, Mrs. Bear, and I just wanted to say what a kick-ass party this has been so far!
*Mark smiled over at Michael and gave him the thumbs up as Michael shook his head and walked out of the room as Mark looked over at Lauren who was regarding him with a pitying look.*
Mental Mark: Yo baby... how YOU doing?
*Mark smiled over at Lauren as Lauren rolled her eyes and shook her head as Mark shrugged his shoulders and went back to his conversation with his bears. >
Diamond is seen walking and he enters his kitchen. He sees Grimjack there drinking a Killians and doing something with the oven.
Diamond: Grim what are you doing?
Grimjack: Hey Mike I baked brownies for the party. They’re done now let me pull these bad boys out.
Grimjack gets a rooster glove and pulls a tray of brownies out of the oven and sets them on the counter. He cuts a square and pops it into his mouth.
Grimjack: These are damn good. Hey Mike try one, be careful though they’re hot.
Diamond: Normally I wouldn’t eat brownies before a match but I agree those look and smell damn good. Alright.
Grimjack hands Diamond a brownie on a plate which Diamond scarfs down.
Diamond: That was pretty good. Thanks Grim.
Grimjack: No problem. Oh yeah one thing though. There’s weed in the brownies.
Diamond just looks at Grim incredulously as Grimjack smiles back.
Diamond: What?!? Grim are you kidding me? I have a match in like 3 minutes!
Grimjack: No worries man it doesn’t take effect for a few hours . . . well depending on . . .
Diamond: Depending on what? Ahhh forget it! Thanks a lot Grim.
Diamond turns and walks away as Grimjack can be seen laughing and then Mental Mark comes into the room and he starts laughing too.
Grimjack: Hey Mark want some brownies?
The HWAtron fades out.
TB: Looks like the Legacy Department is trying to sabotage Michael Diamond with illegal drugs!
KK: Give me a break, Grimjack makes his special brownies for everyone and that’s the thanks he gets?
"Remember Me" By Hoobastank fills the night sky from Michael Diamonds back yard along with a chorus of boos from the fans. We then see Jason Mysterio and Kevin Conner step out of Diamonds house onto the patio and they taunt the crowed. The two of them climb into the ring and await there opponants. Then "Point's of authority(the reanimation remix)" By Linkin Park begins to play and the crowed goes absolutely nuts.
TB: Jason Mysterio and Kevin Conner are waiting in the ring for their opponants but where are they?
KK: Look up there on the Third floor there they are.
The camera points at the third floor of Diamonds house and the Archangels are up on the third story and they climb out the window.
TB: What the hell are they going to do?
Michael Diamond and Fudge just suicide dive off the side of Diamonds house and the land on a giant air bag in the side yard.
KK: AHHH that was insane. Diamond must be feeling those brownies to try a stunt like that.
The two of them walk towrds the ring and stand outside and stare at their opponants in the ring. Diamond counts to 3 and the Archangels slide into the ring and Start to wail on Mysterio and Conner. The ref then calls for the bell.
TB: The match has officially begun and The Archangels are taking an early lead.
Fudge tosses Conner out of the ring and he falls into the pool. The ref makes Fudge get on the ring apron and wait to be tagged as Diamond just lays lefts and rights into the head of Jason Mysterio. Conner climbs out of the pool and runs to the pool house.
KK: where is he going?
TB: I'm not sure but I would think he went to get a towl. That water is pretty cold.
KK: good move.
Diamond hits Mysterio with a Jaw Jacker and stands up and follows it up with a Diamond cutter in the middle of the ring the Diamond makes the cover and the ref counts 1...2... and diamond gets up. The crowd gives a confused reaction then Diamond points at Fudge. The crowd begins to cheer loudly and Fudge extends his hand in excitment.
TB: I guess it's fudges turn to take Mysterio to the wood shed.
Diamond tags Fudge and Fudge hits Mysterio with the Fudge U then he makes the cover. 1...2...3. "Superstar" by Saliva begins to play and the crowd goes totally insane over the victory. The Archangels then toss Mysterio into the pool as well then they go back into the house to celibrate.
TB: The first match for them under the name of Archangels and a successful debut under the name as well.
Suddenly “One Armed Scissor” by At the Drive In hits and the boos begin as Grimjack walks out holding a Killians, his sixth of the day. He goes up the pool walkway and gets in the ring and has a mic.
Grimjack: This isn’t about the Legacy Department. This isn’t about TCO and his stupid new regime. If I have to be janitor he can fire me because I’m not mopping up shit. No this is about something much more important. This is about the final four this weekend. This is about my home town Syracuse. The Orangemen will destroy the Texas Shorthorns and follow that up with a dominating peformance over either Marquette Mackerals or the Kansas suckhawks. Also, the new Radiohead album, Hail to the Thief, has been leaked on the internet. This has been a paid presentation brought to you by the Legacy Department. Good Day. Before I go I must mention the last match is cancelled because it’s time to PARTY! Enjoy the party, remember Diamond is paying for all of it so go wild.
The crowd, hearing this, goes nuts and starts cheering and suddenly a chant of “CUSE CUSE CUSE” is heard in support of Grimjack. A tear comes to his eye as he walks back into the house.
TB: Well that speech had little do with anything but what do you expect from Grimjack.
KK: Didn’t you see what happened? That was the most important speech in HWA history!
TB: Ok.
Suddenly a large tractor trailer truck comes busting into the backyard and skids to a hault. Anderson gets out of the drivers seat and goes to the back. People are scratching their heads as he opens the truck to reveal many kegs of his “D-weiser” style beers. Grimjack comes over and is helping to unload the truck. They get carts and the rest of the Legacy Department is helping to carry all the kegs into Diamond’s mansion. Diamond is at the door watching this happen and he stops Grimjack as he is wheeling in a keg. People are already drinking and Mental Mark is seen going psycho as he is already drunk and had eaten all the leftover brownies.
Diamond: Grim I thought this was going to be a laid back party. You told me—
Grimjack: Hey don’t stress. You’re loaded! You can afford a little damage right?
Mental Mark was swinging on a chandelier and it breaks under his weight and comes crashing down. The expensive crystals shatter everywhere.
Diamond: I don’t feel so good.
Grimjack: Must be the brownie. Newbie. Hey want to join the Legacy Department Michael?
Diamond: Yeah . . . wait no! No!
The Aftermath TCO, Sett, Morgoth and Anubis walk over.
TCO: What is the meaning of this Grimjack?
Grimjack: Damien, can we not fight for just once? This is like the third anniversary of the HWA, let’s celebrate. Here, have a beer.
Grimjack filled a beer from the tap and handed it to TCO. He takes it.
TCO: Fine. But next week the Aftermath will go back to kicking the Legacy Department’s ass like usual. You know that right?
Grimjack: Of course man of course.
Diamond: I’m going to go lay down.
Diamond walks up some steps to go to his room and Lauren is seen following. The show fades out.