8th September 2002
8th September 2002
Keith Kincaid: Yeah, and Justin Tense will be the special guest referee for the contest, although I don’t know why he was inserted into the contest.
Young Grow Old” by Creed blares over the arena sound system.)
Trent Brown: Here comes one of the participants in the main event tonight, although I could do without hearing what he will have to say.
Keith Kincaid: I have to admit, I don’t like these Enterprise guys, either. They threaten our very jobs.
“Awesome D” Anderson and his lovely manager, Summer, come down the ramp to the ring. Anderson is smiling from ear to ear, cupping his hand to his ear and soaking up all of the jeers of the crowd.)
Trent Brown: It appears that Jerk-a-mania is running wild here tonight. Anderson appears to love the boos he is receiving here tonight.
Keith Kincaid: You have to admit, the EWF Champion is confident, even though he had his ass handed to him last week by Neil and Hollywood D.
Trent Brown: I think the word is arrogant, not confident. Let’s send it down to Erin Wallace in the ring.
Erin Wallace: “Awesome D” Anderson, last week Hollywood D and Neil embarrassed you right here in the middle of…
“Awesome D” Anderson: Why don’t we just have you shut up? I mean, just listen to the millions and millions of “Awesome D” fans, brother.
Anderson cups his hand to his ear again as the boos rain down.)
“Awesome D” Anderson: I love that. I really do. Sure, it’s not chanting my name, but it’s got a lot more bass in it. Now, back to the real reason I’m here tonight. If you think that Neil and Hollywood D embarrassed me last week, you have no idea. If Neil is so scared of me that he needs help to beat me, then maybe the match at Fear isn’t a good idea. I mean, I plan on crippling him at Fear, but if it’s going to be so easy it might not be fun. Don’t worry, I’m sure the match will still happen at Fear, but rest assured, tonight, Neil will experience his own embarrassment. Now I’m a busy man, I have a big match tonight as you well know. But I had a reason behind having you out here to interview me, Miss Wallace. You see, I want Neil to know that no one in the HWA is safe from the Enterprise. Summer, if you will.
Trent Brown: Summer has just grabbed Erin Wallace! She’s tearing off her clothes!
Keith Kincaid: Bra and Panties!
Trent Brown: They are embarrassing Erin Wallace! This is ridiculous! Anderson bends Erin over his knee and is now spanking her. Somebody stop this!
(Neil runs down to the ring as Anderson and Summer scatter. Neil checks on Miss Wallace.)
“Awesome D” Anderson: Ask her how she feels, Neil, because you will know what embarrassment is tonight, jackass!
Trent Brown: He’s proud of what he’s done, that ingrate!
Anderson has grabbed the referee and is threatening him. Neil runs down to the ring and Anderson runs away. But Summer comes from behind on Neil and gives him a low blow. Anderson then grabs a chair and beats down Neil with it. Anderson locks Neil's arms in the ropes.
Anderson: Here I am, standing with MY FRIEND, Neil Williams. Are you ready, Neil? Are you ready to be humiliated, Neil? Well I have these "well-endowed" ladies in the back. Ladies, please come out.
Three obese, ugly, and unfortunately skantily clad women come down to the ring.
Anderson: I guess by "well-endowed" I meant in the weight department. Ladies, if you please...
One of the ladies tears Neil's shirt open. A second lady pulls his pants down.
Anderson: Now the bills, ladies.
The ladies pull out dollar bills and began to stuff them one-by-one into Neil's boxers.
Anderson: Okay, that's enough ladies. I have something else for him.
Anderson grabs the chair again and delivers a violent chairshot. He then goes to ringside and grabs his cooler. He needs some beer. Anderson opens one and pours it over Neil's head.
Anderson: Have a D-weiser, Neil! A nice cold one, Neil! Where's Hollywood D now, Neil? He won't be there to help you at Fear, Neil! ARE YOU READY, NEIL? HELL NO!
Neil struggles wildly and madly to free himself as Anderson and Summer leave the ring.
Peter Octavian picks up a solid, clean win over Ringmaster. Ringmaster hobbles out of the ring looking like he's just been f*cked up the ass. Octavian almost did....
WINNER: Peter Octavian.
(The lights go out and blue and gray pyros go off. "The Bass and the Movement" by Atmosphere plays and Nate Hartman comes out followed by A.Fuente. Nate is wearing a SAAC shirt with the X-treme Title slung over his shoulder. A.Fuente is wearing a trench coat buttoned all the way up for some reason. The two of them walk down the ramp and get in the ring. Nate calls for a mic and one is tossed to him. He motions for his music to stop and it does. Nate begins to speak.)
TPO: So I did exactly like I said I was gonna do and won this title. And I
joined the only force in the HWA capable of stopping the Enterprise. And to
show my loyalty to SAAC, I would like to welcome our leader Kevin Conner.
("One of a Kind" by Breaking Point plays and the crowd cheers wildly. Kevin
Conner comes out with one of the tag belts on his shoulder. He comes down to
the ring and enters it. Him and Nate shake hands.)
TPO: Conner, to prove my loyalty to you and SAAC, I would like to give you the
X-treme Title.
Conner: Really?
TPO: Yep, here ya go.
(Nate grabs the belt from his shoulder and decks Conner in the face with it,
leveling him. TPO and A.Fuente then begin to stomp on Conner. After they beat
him badly enough A.Fuente takes off his jacket, and Nate rips off his SAAC
shirt. Both of them reveal that they are wearing Enterprise t-shirts. Nate
lifts the mic up to speak again.)
TPO: You really thought that I would just give you my title? Do you know how
hard I worked to get this? Come on Conner, did you really think that I really
wanted to join your stable name after a male's privates? I mean for Christ's
sake, your name is SAAC. I went to the side where true power is. I joined up
with an old friend of mine. And that man is Danny Starr. When will you HWA
losers realize that the Enterprise is too strong for you. You can't stop us
Conner, and neither can Neil or Hollywood D. The end of the HWA is NOW!!!!!
(Nate drops the mic and kicks Conner again. Then him and A.Fuente go to the
back laughing all the way.)
The scene fades in on Neil's office. Neil is sitting at his desk. He has a fresh shirt on and is rubbing his hand on his head where he has had to recieve three stiches from the emergency HWA doctor.
Neil: Anderson, you're totally out of line with what you did to Erin and also to me. Erin happens to be a good, personal friend of mine. Your actions of late are totally deplorable. What you did to me.... well, i'll get my revenge. Just watch your back man, watch your back. I can't wait to kick your ass at Fear. You're right though, Ron Royalty is dead, he's over. There IS no more Ron Royalty. But this match isn't about gimmicks. This is about you and me Darek, this is personal. But onto business of a more pressing nature. We seem to have a slight problem in the HWA. You see, we have Tag Champions who are not exactly... an item any more. So, on next week's survival, we will have ourselves a little match. It's going to be Ryan Maxem v Kevin Conner. The winner of the match gets to keep both tag title belts, and can give one of them to whoever they choose, making that person their new tag team partner and also one half of the tag team champions. Oh yeah, to make that match more interesting, the match will additionally be for the HWA World Title. Hmmmm, yeah. That should make for an interesting main event next week-
Before Neil can continue the door opens and Kevin Conner walks in.
Neil: Ki Kevin.
Kevin Conner: Neil, I'm sick of this shit.
Neil: What shit?
Kevin Conner: I'm getting attacked Left Right and Center! Isn't there anything you can do about it?
Neil: Well, who seems to be after you?
Kevin Conner: Who ISN'T?! There's Fudge, Maxem, Hartman, Ninja. God... loads of people. It's crazy.
Neil: Alright then, I'll see what I can do, but I need a favour from you in return.
Kevin Conner: Sure, what is it?
Neil: I need you to pull double duty next week ok?
Kevin Conner: Fine, thats no problem, because you see i'm The One, The Real Life Legend, Mr. Prime Time, former HWA International Champion, former FIVE time HWA Hardcore Champion, The Mega-Superstar, The Hardcore Icon Kev-
Neil: Yes, I did hear that Kevin. As I was saying. Well, you know about the World Title and Tag Title match between you and Maxem right? Well, what I'm going to do is have a further match. This time it will be two enterprise members going at it. Two enterprise guys who BOTH want a piece of you. It will be The Unknown Ninja against Fudge.
Kevin Conner: Oh man, I really wanted to fight Fudge, oh wait, AND ninja!
Neil: I thought about it, but i'm letting the two of them fight it out to see who gets to fight you next!
Kevin Conner: Cool, Hey. Any chance I can be the special referee?
Neil: Sure, no problem. Oh and Kevin? Good luck.
The scene fades....
Dan Sawyer manages to pull out the win against Mysterio. Mysterio for his part did his best to win the match and gave it all he had but it wasn't enough. After the match, Nate Hartman comes down to the ring with a try of pastries. He rams Sawyer's head into them before whacking the metal tray across his head. Sawyer lies in the middle of the ring, lying in a pool of blood. And pastries.
WINNER: Dan Sawyer.
The East Side Connection - 187 + Justin Tense pick up an impressive victory in this match. Nick Fury put up a fight, but he was not assisted too well by Michael Duncan who barely put up a fight and was easily pinned 1...2...3... by Justin Tense.
WINNER: 187 + Justin Tense (East Side Connection)
Fudge comes to the ring, with a microphone in hand. . .
Fudge raises the microphone to his mouth and begins. . .
Fudge : Now. . .Recently, I know I have been screwing up around here, I know
that. I have been losing, before this match I was on a losing streak of 3,
putting my record to 6 - 4, which pisses me off. . .See the way I see it, I am
being screwed over around here, and this especially applies for FEAR. . .Thats
right, Fear. At Fear, I am signed to an International Title match, against
Kevin Conner, and Michael Diamond. . .I am out here now telling every mother
fucker I REFUSE to wrestle that match!
Fudge pauses as the crowd scream in anger of that comment. . .
Fudge : Now there are two options for the guys in that match, and two for Neil,
here they are. . .You can either wrestle that match one on one, and Neil can
sign it, or we can use my plan. . .
Fudg pauses. . .
Fudge : My plan, Neil, is that we make this match a Tag Team match. . .Michael
Diamond & Fudge, to take on Kevin Conner, and any other pathetic peice of trash
he can find. . .And before Conner goes complaining of "Losing his Chance" nobody
loses their chance because see, Any titles, that all competitors hold are still
on the line. . .If there is more than one title, the match is more than one
fall. . .Every Fall has a title on the line, whoever makes the pin, gets the
title, which mea if I pin Conner, I am International Champion, or if Michael
pins Conner, he is still International Champion! And so on, if any other Titles
are being held at that time, by the people involved. . .The only catch is, its
No Disqualification, No Countout, and both teams select one member and those
members start in another part of the arena, however, pins can only take place in
the ring. . .You follow Neil?!
Fudge stops as the crowd look almost speachless. . .
Fudge : I'll leave you to decide Neil. . .If my plan doesnt go ahead, you better
find me another match. . .
Fudge drops the microphone and starts to walk from the ring to the top of the ramp but then Neil's music "New Disease" by Spineshank hits and Neil meets Fudge half way.
Neil: Fudgey fudgey fudge. Whats up? Thrown all your toys out of your pram? You sure act like a little baby. You know what? You don't want that match - a shot at the International Title? Fine. You know what else? You don't deserve it anyway. You've been nothing short of pathetic recently in your matches. I'm glad you've jumped over to Enterprise because you'd be an embarresment to us. You know what? If you hadn't have been quite good in your day and won the HWA title three times, i'd make you fight Tarmen Hughson for the Rookie title, sorry, Title of the Damned. At least that guy shows effort. You don't want that International match - fine. I'll see what else I can come up with for you. I'm sure they'll be plenty of people lined up for a piece of you. By the way, you're still facing Ninja next week. Just for the hell of it. I wanna see some enterprise dudes kicks crap out of each other! Conner, may just get involved too seeing how he's special guest referee!
And with that Neil turns abruptly and heads to the backstage area, leaving Fudge looking on at Neil, not at all happy.
Conner: You're right, its not over!
(Conner then leaps off and hits "One OF A kind" and holds his stomach and Fudges
lays motionless and Conner gets up and stumbles away)
Hughson beats Romeo cleanly to mark his first defence of his recently named 'Title of the Damned.
WINNER: Tarmen Hughson
After the match, infected heads down to the ring with a chair in hand, He hits it over the head of Tommy Romeo, then Infected sets up the chair again waiting for Tarmen to turn around but infected Drops the chair and give Terman the Suicide Drop. Infected asks for a microphone, and laying on the group while Infected stand over a bloody Tarmen. Infected says.
Infected: Terman I want you in a match at Fear you beat me for the Damned title or whatever you called it. I want your ass in a cage match. No excuses, no hiding. Lets finish this thing.
In the closest match on card, Unknown Ninja gets the upper hand over Conner in the early going. Conner takes control in the mid section of the match. Ninja gets the decision at the end after a roll up and a handfull of tights. Ninja cheats to win.
WINNER: Unknown Ninja.
Neil's music hits and Neil and Hollywood D come down to the ring.
TB: Whats this all about?
KK: I think we'd heard the last of Neil tonight.
TB: Wait, I think Hollywood D wants to speak!
HD: Ya know, when this guy right here came to the door of my brand new 300 acre Los Angeles estate last week, I about slapped him in his face. I was thinking to myself, do people not know what the meaning of retired is? But then he said those two words that would make even that dirty son of a bitch Red Skelton roll over in his grave, two words that can eat the paint of the side of a barn and just about made me lose my dinner all over one my $50,000 handcrafted Persian rugs - Danny Starr. Jesus Christ, it's gonna take 6000 hail marys just for the lord to forgive me for saying that piece of trash's name in front of all you people here tonight. But anyways, when he said that sister screwing inbred's name, I knew that I no longer had a choice of whether I wanted to be here tonight or not. It wasn't about would I or would I not anymore, it was about when, where, and how many teeth of his I was going to kick down his throat! I left the HWA almost a year ago, because I thought he had turned over a new leaf. Let's take a look back... Last Man Standing 2001, Danny Starr vs. Hollywood D, Danny Starr wins the tournament and goes on to become the new HWA World Champion, after a contrversial decision over "The Immortal Icon" Hollywood D. Even though it wasn't exactly a clean finish, I let it slide, and I let him take the honor of being the better man that night. From there on out, I stepped down, let the new blood of the HWA rise up, and, I'm not afraid to admit it, I made the stupid mistake of thinking he could carry the HWA into a new era and that I was no longer needed. With guys like Judge, TCO, Fudge, and Sett, I thought the HWA was in good hands even if Danny Starr slipped up. So I take a look at the HWA a year later, and there's that no-talent-flaming-fairie dancing around the ring with his favorite pack pals, you know, the lover bird butt buddies, tweetle dick anderson and tweetle twat michael diamond, and their little whore cas or cara or whatever the hell the stupid dyke calls herself now, too. So, like I said, it no longer was on option, it now became an obligation. I'm not here to win any title, and I'm not here to prove a damn thing to anyone. You won't see my strapping on a pair of nut huggers and wrestling Jumpin Jimmy Jabroni on Wednesday Night Whackoff, the only reason I'm here is to watch the back of my friend, and make sure that The Enterprise ends up like all the other corrupt corporations in the country right now - out of business.
Lots of weapons are used in this match, remember its no DQ folks! Hartman controls the early going and dominates to begin with. Then Jason Craven grabs Nate Hartman's now infamous tray of pasties. After a pasty to the face of both Grimjack and Infected, Craven smashes the tray over Hartman's head. Once, twice, three times, FOUR TIMES! Craven goes for the pin. 1....2....3.... Grimjack had tried to break the count but had too much pastry in his eyes. The only Enterprise member in this match gets the win. New X-Treme Champion.
WINNER: Jason Craven.
(The camera fades in Ryan Maxems locker room and he looking at his belts after he just polished them. Then Conner bust in the door the and walks around and Maxem looks at him.)
Conner: Well, well, well what do you he have here, the HWA Worlds Biggest
Asshole!
Maxem: Conner, you trustworthy some of a bitch! What'd you want the other tag
team title? Well to bad.
Conner: No I really wanted to give you a message.
Maxem: Well I wanted to give you one to.
(Maxem then grabs his World title and swings at Conner and Conner ducks then
Grimjack and Hartman come hit Maxem from behind all three men stomp on him and
Conner picks up the world title and shines it in the light and Grimjack and
Hartman pick Maxem up and Conner nails Maxem in the head with his own title belt
and he begins to bleed. COnner throws down the belt they walk out of the room.)
Conenr: See ya next week!
During the match Maxem gets several clear pinning opportunities on Anderson, but each time, Justin Tense refuses to count. Maxem gets mad with Tense and starts brawling with him. Anderson rolls up Maxem from behind and Tense administers the quick count 1.2.3. It's over.
WINNER: "Awesome D" Anderson.