TB: Welcome, fans, to the first, and hopefully last edition of HWA Extra. I’m Trent Brown and with me as always is the paradigm of fatass, Keith Kincaid.

KK: Yeah? And when’s the last time you had less than 10 breakfast burritos in one sitting?

TB: Anyway, we’ve got exclusive footage from Saturday Night Survival tonight and a very special guest, who says he will give us the inside scoop on the Rising PPV card.

KK: Just six days from tonight, the HWA rises again. And we will have to rise, considering the travesty that went down on Saturday night.

TB: But before we talk about that, lets start out with our special guest host. Ladies and Gentlemen, he’s got attitude, he has been Awesome, and he’s our HWA President….ANDERSON!!!!

(“Kick Some Ass” by Stroke 9 plays as President Anderson walks onto the set.)

TB: Welcome, Mr. President.

Anderson: It’s good to be here, Trent.

TB: Let’s start off with the opening match on SNS, the debut of The Huntress.

(Video of Huntress vs. Dark Phoenix)

TB: Phoenix is setting Huntress on the top rope. He’s setting up for the Hell’s Fire.

KK: If he hits this, Phoenix will actually pick up a win.

TB: Phoenix lifts Huntress up for the Hell’s Fire. Huntress is holding on to the top rope upside down!

KK: She’s got her legs wrapped around Phoenix’s head!

TB: She flips Phoenix off the top rope, sort of like a reverse hurricanrana..

KK: Me next! Me next!

TB: Huntress climbs back up on the top rope. It looks like she’s going for…YES! The H-Bomb!

KK: 1…2…3! The lady wins! Go Huntress.

TB: Hey, she’s helping Dark Phoenix up!

KK: That’s weird, I thought she was a (Huntress low-blows Phoenix)HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLL! OH CRAP THAT HURT ME TOO.

TB: And Huntress is celebrating her debut win in the HWA.

(Back to live action)

TB: That was a pretty good match for the Huntress.

KK: I love cheating, Trent. I love heel tactics. But you just don’t give a man a shot in the pills. IT’S JUST NOT CRICKET!

TB: Well, President Anderson, I understand you have the first announcement regarding the PPV on Sunday.

Anderson: As a matter of fact, I do. Huntress will make her PPV debut against a man I have expected to do great things in the HWA, Scandalous.

TB: Speaking of Scandalous, he faced newcomer Jell, of the new XPW InVaders, this past Saturday.

(Video of Jell vs. Scandalous)

TB: This has been a perfect example of dominance by Jell thus far.

KK: Jell is a very serious threat.

TB: Bulldog by Jell on Scandalous. Jell bounds off the ropes with an Asai Senton Splash.

KK: Why are these fans cheering Scandalous? He’s a HEEL folks.

TB: Jell lands a back heel kick right to Scandalous’ face. He’s going up to the top rope.

KK: He’s going to hit the Career Breaker.

TB: And hit hits the Career Breaker on Scandalous!

KK: 1…2…3! It was over before it started, just like Scandalous’ career.

(End of Video Segment)

TB: Another impressive debut this week. Jell is a friend of Fudge’s and is also part of Fudge’s XPW InVaders.

KK: Why is the HWA always defending against an invasion when you are President, Mr. Anderson?

Anderson: It’s not my fault that I just happen to sign guys who secretly want to take over the HWA. I just look for talent. And I think I’ve done one hell of a job finding it. Not necessarily Jell, but many of the current superstars right here in the HWA. Such as Johnny Arrow and Crack, the Prime Time Players.

TB: Speaking of the Prime Time Players…

Anderson: Wait! First I have another announcement. Jell will make his PPV debut at Rising this Sunday in a Triple Threat Match. One of his opponents will be AJ Dollar$. The other is featured in our next match.

(Video of Buff Daddy Dollar$ vs. Brooklyn)

TB: Buff is finally taking control of this match. He’s just pounding on Brooklyn.

KK: Well, Brooklyn hasn’t had the best of luck lately. He’s looked a bit out of it, which is where he is now.

TB: Buff whips Brooklyn across the ring. Buff charges, but Brooklyn moves and Buff crashes into the corner. Reverse neckbreaker by Brooklyn. He’s going to the top rope. He leaps off but Buff puts up a foot. Buff misses a clothesline and Brooklyn locks on a sleeper.

KK: No way, Brooklyn should know that never wins a match.

TB: Buff with a low blow! He’s going for the #1 Stunner! NO! Brooklyn kicks him in the gut. PROBLEM SOLVER! PROBLEM SOLVER! 1…2…3!

KK: NO! NO! NO!!

TB: Brooklyn pulls out a win. Nice reversal into his move…

(End of Video Segment)

TB: So it will be Jell versus AJ Dollar$ vs. Brooklyn in a Triple Threat Match at HWA Rising.

KK: I don’t give a damn about that match! Let’s talk about the great swerve that the EWF pulled on the Prime Time Players on Saturday.

(Video of Prime Time Players vs. Bullfather and AJ Dollar$)

Earlier in the night…

Bullfather: Mr. Trainer, I hurt my arm really bad when I was beating on Crack last Wednesday. I don’t think I can fight tonight.

President Anderson walks in…

Anderson: AW, that’s too bad, Bullfather. I guess your EWF buddy AJ will have to face the Prime Time Players alone tonight.

Bullfather: That’s not fair! The match should be rescheduled!

Anderson: I’m not putting my card on hold for you, Bullsh!t.

Back to the match….

TB: The Prime Time Players have AJ on the defensive. AJ is on his hands and knees. Arrow kicks him in the ribs. Crack tags in. Irish whip off the ropes. Lou Thesz press by Crack.

KK: D!CK TO THE MOUTH! D!CK TO THE MOUTH!

TB: You would like that. Crack has really got the crowd riled up. He’s riled too. AJ staggers to his feet. Kick to the midsection…CRACK HAMMER! CRACK HAMMER!

KK: I wish I had some cr…

TB: Crack tags in Johnny Arrow.

KK: Why didn’t Crack go for the pin, and don’t interrupt me, Brown!

TB: Arrow is setting AJ up for the Arrow Plex. Wait, here comes Buff Daddy and Dan Sawyer! Crack and Arrow are fighting them off.

KK: Here comes the Bullfather! What a great title belt shot to the head of Crack. I guess he Cracked the belt.

TB: I thought he had an injured arm.

KK: IT’S A MIRACLE! GOD HAS HEALED THE BULLFATHER!

TB: The EWF guys have beaten down the Prime Time Players. They are celebrating like a 4-on-2 beating is something to be proud of.

(End of video clips)

TB: That was a heinous assault.

Anderson: Well, heinous as it may be, they will get what they want. Bullfather wants to eliminate the Prime Time Players. Well, at HWA Rising this Sunday, he will have his chance, as he DEFENDS the HWA Television Title against Crack, Johnny Arrow, and his own stablemate, Dan Sawyer, in a Four-Way Dance.

TB: That is a big PPV announcement.

Anderson: Don’t worry, there are many more still to come.

TB: Let’s now talk about Breeze and Angelus, two relative newcomers to the HWA. Breeze is Fudge’s tag team partner, while Angelus has that air of familiarity to him.

KK: This was a match that I was looking forward to since it was announced. Breeze is the Bomb.

TB: Well, it was nice of you to chime in with a bad pun, Keith.

KK: Pun? What the hell is that!?

TB: Let’s take a look at Breeze versus Angelus

(Video footage of Angelus vs. Breeze)

TB: This has been such a great one-on-one contest, and Breeze is setting Angelus up for the Breeze Bomb. Angelus reverses it with a backdrop. Angelus locks on the Torture Chamber on Breeze! Breeze and Angelus have bumped the referee!

KK: Here comes Fudge! He helps Breeze break the hold. They are going to beat down Angelus.

TB: Here comes Real Hero! Now the odds are even. Fudge flees the ring. Angelus is going to spear Breeze! Hero turns around. Breeze ducks out of the way and Angelus spears Hero! ANGELUS SPEARS HERO!

KK: That was great! SPEAR! SPEAR! SPEAR!

TB: Breeze and Fudge attack Angelus with chairs. Angelus is laid on the mat with his head between two chairs. Fudge leaps from the top rope and his the Five Star Fudge Splash on Angelus and the chairs. The referee has revived and is calling for the bell.

KK: What the hell is the bell ringing for!?

TB: The referee is doing the right thing. Angelus has won this one by disqualification.

(End of Video footage)

KK: That was the best move I’ve ever seen. Angelus’ head popped like a balloon.

Anderson: Well, if he can, Angelus has an invitation to join us at the PPV. It will be Angelus, Breeze, and Real Hero for the International Title.

TB: You heard it here folks. KK: Why should Breeze have to face two guys who are out to get him?

TB: Don’t you think that Hero will also be after Angelus after that vicious spear?

KK: Come to think of it, I don’t think that Angelus will even be conscious by Rising after that Fudge-chairto.

TB: Fudge-chairto? Who writes your jokes?

KK: Nobody writes my material. It’s all improvisation.

TB: That explains it.

Anderson: Hey, I don’t have all day. Can we get to the last match?

KK: Yes, it was the saddest day in the history of the HWA.

TB: Don’t get ahead of us, Keith. Let’s take a look at Fudge defending his HWA Title against Kevin Conner.

(Video of Fudge vs. Conner)

TB: Conner is going for the Leap of Faith! Wait, here comes Breeze! He pushes Conner off the top rope and there is still no referee to see this.

KK: Breeze is going to Breeze Bomb Conner. CRACK HIS HEAD LIKE A MELON!

TB: Wait! Here comes Real Hero. Hero swings the I-N Belt at Breeze but Breeze hits the mat and rolls out of the ring and Hero hits Fudge instead. Hero chases after Breeze. Conner picks up Fudge. SOUL SEARCHER! SOUL SEARCHER! Conner pulls up the referee. 1…2…3! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!

KK: NO! NO! NO!

TB: KEVIN CONNER HAS JUST WON THE HWA TITLE! THE CROWD IS IN SHOCK!! I’M IN SHOCK! KEITH, YOUR THOUGHTS?!

KK: NO! NO! NO!

(End of video footage)

KK: No, no, no….

Anderson: Well, you’ll be glad to know that Fudge will be getting his rematch at the PPV against Kevin Conner. Also, some special announcements will be made.

KK: Like what?

Anderson: Like I’ll announce your replacement if you don’t shut up. The HWA Tag Team Titles will be decided once again as Fudge and Breeze take on Bullfather & Dan Sawyer, Kevin Conner & Real Hero, and the Prime Time Players. I’m sure there’s probably more to say, but I have to get out of here. Later. TB: Well, thank you Mr. President. It looks like we have a stacked PPV card