Ain't No Sunshine When She's HOME

“Lien. Leave a message.” The voice of her friend and stablemate disappoints her; an ironic twist, for if her friend had answered, she’d feel the rush of jubilation… nonetheless, Solace had hoped to get ahold of her for advice… and since Katia’s phone was dead also, she had nobody to bounce Tigran’s idea off of. Despite this, just as she did on Katia’s voicemail, Solace tries to keep this one short…

“Hey girl, sorry I missed you. Like, seriously… I could really use your counsel! Tiger over here found this place on the East Coast to check out-”

“Northeast.” Tigran interjects.

“What?” Solace turns her head, whispering in the middle of the voice mail.

“It’s not the east coast, it's the Northeast.” Tigran holds up a blurry picture of a mapquest screen capture.

“Okay, whatever.” Solace rolls her eyes and turns her head back to the voicemail.

“Anyway, I was going to ask you what you thought about it… I was thinking of taking a trip out that way to check it out… dirt cheap, and it might actually be haunted! No, seriously… but I will tell you more about it later. Anyway, get back to me… oh my god, By the way… wasn’t Katia’s return crazy? I’m so happy to have seen the look on their faces when she came in and whooped some Coven ass!! Then Jolie showin’ MJ the business… hilarious! Oh, and guess what else…-”

BEEP. ‘Mailbox full.’ Solace looks at the screen of her phone before puffing.

“Whatever.” She ends the call.

“At least it was shorter than the last one.” Tigran grins.

“Dude, I don’t know about this.” Solace puts her phone on her dining room table top before dropping her head into both hands, seeming stressed.

“Yes, well… this isn’t exactly a buyer’s market… what with the pandemic and material cost.” Tigran lectures, “You know lumber is almost three times it’s average price?”

“You are giving me a headache.” Solace puts her face in both of her palms before sighing, “I’m sorry. I know you’re just helping me. I’m grumpy.”

“I don’t like when you are grumpy.” Tigran says.

“Me… neither.” Solace looks up at him, “What were you saying?”

“Oh, so because of the pandemic, material cost-” Tigran joyously continues.

“No, Tiger.” Solace says, “Before that.”

“Oh… well, I looked everywhere for a good price but everything is marked up considerably… you have the money, but you would be losing the value of what it’s actually worth.”

“So, I’m better off buying a haunted house. Great.” Solace says.

“It’s not haunted!” Tigran says for the twelfth time.

“Yeah, well, even if it’s not… it’s smack dab right in the middle of richville. Surrounded by snooty snoots.”

“First of all, you don’t know that... “ Tigran says, “Second, for this price… you are buying a million dollar estate for a fraction of the cost!”

“Well, yeah… it’s haunted.” Solace smirks.

“All I’m saying is, we should check it out… you could always wait until the markets balance out, and then sell it for a multitude more than what you paid!! Sorry, but to me, this is a no-brainer.”

“What about the guy who lived there? Why isn’t that information accessible?” Solace asks.

“I asked your father to look into it for you and I am waiting on that, but he said, strangely enough, he’s going to have to get back to me… must be someone high profile if it’s this hard to come by; especially for your Dad.”

“Do I really want to commute to work from Hartford?” Solace wonders, “God, where are these girls… I need advice. You know what… I’m going to ask Twitter.”

“I really wish you didn’t get a twitter.” Tigran shakes his head as he mutters in resentment.

“Ooh, someone said the east coast makes the trip to the UK even faster. Maybe this isn’t such a bad idea.” Solace smiles and looks up at Tigran who is looking down at his own phone reading a text.

“Good news.” Tigran says, “Your father moved some things around and learned that the house is being sold by a real estate company based out of Florida… that’s a state.”

Solace stares blankly at Tigran, “I’m sorry, do you think I don’t know what Florida is??”

“I mean you didn't know Conneticut was... Oh… forget it.” Tigran grins, “Anyway, a company called Perridian Realty co. and for whatever reason, they can’t sell this house… even as cheap as it is.”

“Weird.” Solace says, her eyebrows a scowl, “I mean, isn’t that a red flag?”

Tigran shrugs.

“Well… your dad mentioned any information regarding previous ownership is redacted from all official forms, there’s nothing available public or on the record. Whoever redacted it was at a higher level than your father and his friends… maybe a government official?” Tigran suggests, “You don’t have to buy it, but we should check it out… er, you should check it out.”

“Hey, It’s almost Halloween, right?” Solace smiles, “Worse comes to worse, we get a free tour in a murder house.”

“So cool?” Tigran assumes.

“Oh, but we’re bringing Katia and Lien…” Solace says, “And we are not going to tell them it’s a murder house.”

“I mean, it might not be a murder house-” Tigran corrects her.

“Shhh!” Solace brings a finger to her lips, “Just don’t say anything, Tiger.”

“Fair enough…” Tigran agrees, “So, should I get us a flight?”

“Hell yeah!” Solace says, “I’ll pack up.”

As Solace, followed by Ducky, heads for the room… Tigran’s phone buzzes again. When he reads what is on the screen, his eyes widen in disbelief, and his mouth opens in utter shock. He looks up for Solace, but she’s in the room emptying out her drawers to fill up a luggage back.

“Shit.” He mutters, “Ugh, no way.”

“What’s wrong, Tiger?” Solace peeks her head out from her bedroom door after hearing him.

“Oh, nothing… uh, are you sure you want to do this buying a home thing right now? Shouldn’t you be focusing on your match? Do you want to spar or something?”

“You good, bro?” Solace asks, noticing he is being weird.

“Oh, me? Yeah… absolutely.” Tigran has trouble concealing his nervousness.

“K.” Solace says, choosing to go on with her business despite his inability to play things cool.

As Tigran scrambles to figure out how to convince Solace to change her mind without explaining it, her own phone rings in the bedroom. When she answers it, her voice switches to a bubbly, excited Solace.

“Hey Girl!!!” Solace stops packing, “You heard my voicemail? It was not. That was a short one.”

“Oiii…” Tigran decides to text the person back while she’s busy, “Are you sure??” and the text back confirms the top secret information regarding who owns the very house Solace is interested in touring… and suddenly, the mystique around it’s descending value is all but clear… but he knows, sharing this intel would only stoke her interest further… and normally, this wouldn’t be a bad thing… but considering this specific set of circumstances, it would bring the wrong kind of attention. He knows he must convince her otherwise… he stands up. Makes his way to her room, assertively, but as he gets to the opened door, Solace is already there with a smile.

“Guess what!” Solace is now off the phone, “Lien and Katia are coming with us to check out the house!!! Don’t worry about tickets, Katia just got a good price on Delta. Oh, and don’t worry, she said you don’t have to pay her back… so I hope you are ready to go next week because the tickets are non-transferrable, and non-refundable.”

“Yay?” Tigran fails at hiding his emotions again.

“Okay, dick.” Solace’s excitement turns off as she turns around, “This was your idea…”

“I know, I know!” Tigran rushes in behind her as she sits on the bed. He stands before her, unable to construe the words needed to string together in a way that solves this problem, “Hm…”

“What, Tiger?” Solace is becoming annoyed, “What is the issue?”

“I… uh, well… I got this… well, hm.” He stutters.

Solace rolls her eyes, stands up and kisses him.

“Murder house.” is what he blurts out when her lips detach from his.

“YES!!!” Solace is so excited to scare Lien when they arrive.

Tigran blank stares and lets out a deep, stress induced sigh. Before Solace can inquire yet again, her phone begins to buzz a second time. She recognizes the ringtone and moans in irritation.

“The boss?” Tigran asks.

“Of course!!!” Solace throws her arms up before reaching for her phone again, “Hellooooo Jolieeee”

“Yes…”

“I know…”

“Right now? Seriously?”

“Has she??”

“Then why are you asking me to do it?”

“Ugh. Fine!”

“Bye.”

Solace hangs up.

“Promo time?” Tigran grins.

“You know it!” Solace says, “You mind?” Holding her phone up for Tigran to video-live her.

“Ready?” Tigran asks, bringing up the facebook live video, “And go…”

“Heylo fans of First Class! I hope everyone is doing well, I am doing well, the Triumvirate is doing exceptionally well… we got our Katia back as you all know, and yeah, we are just so excited to be back together as the triple threat you all love to root for.”

Solace takes in a deep breath of air before letting it come out again slower.

“Is it me, though… or does it seem like now that we are all back together, The Coven girls ain’t feelin’ very comfortable anymore? I mean, things were going well when some of us were absent.. Casie somehow snaked her way into a world title shot against Moira Arches… Steph became a loose definition of ‘talent’, and Mercedes went weeks unhindered as she played voo-doo doll with whoever she wanted to… but that was then… that was when the Triumvirate wasn’t in the same building together, and while we weren’t whole… The Coven girls had their day in the sun… and judging from their sickly looking skin, they sure can use as much sun as they can get!!”

Solace smiles.

“That was then… and this is now! So, sorry girls… Beach day is over, hope you got a nice tan because from this point on, the Triumvirate girls are, in fact, whole. So jump on your broom sticks, fly your ass as far away as you can get from us, because there is no more peace and tranquility… you started fires for months and now we are here to snuff them out… but we’re not going to just chase you around putting out fires as you make new ones, no, we’re gonna stop the problem at its root cause and i’m going to start with that little sidekick’s sidekick, Steph… just Steph. What are you, Cher? Do you even have a last name? You know what, don’t bother with one… nobody even knows your first, and that’s because in this business, you never had a name… you’ll never HAVE a name, and after First Class… the only name they are going to call you is… Solace’s Bitch.”

Solace grits her teeth.

“Sorry… don’t take it too personal. Although, it was you stupid bitches that caused all this trouble to begin with but it’s not personal, persey… it’s karma. It’s the universe coming back around to give you trashy scumbags what you deserve. I mean, girls, you thought you could hide behind the name Debonair as if the name alone would sail you through this business… and when you learned the harsh, cold truth that it simply wouldn’t… you started lashing out at the business and other talents like entitled little brats because you just couldn’t accept that you aren’t as good as you tell yourself you are.”

Solace shakes her head.

“Is that what you weirdos do? Do you light some candles, turn off the lights, sit down in front of your black mirror to ask the abyss who is the lamest of them all? And does a baphomet appear from the darkness to look you in the eyes, and with bated breath snorts the answer you seek… “You… are… just… the… worst!”

Solace tries to roll the eyes behind her head but fails.

“Nah, seriously though, do you? What kind of weird shit do you girls do when nobody else is looking? I’m not going to make assumptions here, but my educated guesser thinks maybe the three of you get together, drink some cheap red wine that you pretend is goat blood, and take turns moving the planchette while acting like ‘SOOOO’ surprised the Ouija board answered your question. No wonder you’re all bitter… you are still stuck in that middle school mindset, while us WOMEN are out trying to put women’s wrestling on the map… and here you all are, dressing up like clowns, having ‘who’s edgier’ contests, and you know who wins? Nobody. Each time your horrible theme music sucks the energy out of the audience… or every time you try bringing down another female talent… each time your corny faces pop up on a Netflix screen… Professional women are set back ten steps… but guess what else I know… real… recognizes real, so no matter how much of an anchor you three are to the women of modern day professional wrestling, your time is coming to an end… at the hands of The Triumvirate, and Steph… Search that soul of yours… and make sure you bring your sunglasses, Twilight, because at First Class, even Satan himself can’t grace you with powers dark enough to dim my aura.”

Tigran asks “Done?” with his eyes, and she thinks about it before shaking her head.

“I was going to end it there. I really don’t have much else to even say to you, Steph… I feel like all people ever do is talk, talk, talk… Well, I’m tired of talking. I spent weeks and weeks sitting around, and now that i’m back, I am just dying to hand out some just desserts. Plus, what can I even say to you, Steph? What have you even done for me to mention? You are one of those fish that trails the bigger fish, or the algae eater bottom feeding at the lowest point of the food chain… what in the world is the purpose of.. YOU. To make Mercedes feel important? To, by contrast, make Casie appear stronger? How do you feel knowing that, not only are you completely useless in this world… but the only reason you are kept around… is to enhance EVERYONE ELSE. Whether it be your sister-witches who need to look better against a paler version of themselves… or the other talent who need that extra W on their record… I mean, Steph… get a hint, girlie… you’re entire purpose… your entire existence... is to SERVE. So, like anything else that’s been served, I’m going to come around with my trash can… and after First Class, i’ll be sure to dispose of the garbage that is STEPH. Oh, and thanks for the W. I guess you, once again, served your purpose.”

Tigran grits his teeth.

“Too much?” Solace asks Tigran indirectly as her fiery gaze stares into the camera, “I’m just about finished with these Hocus Pocus bitches. Triumvirate is back, Stephanie. When you crawl back, wounded and aching from our match, I want you to tell MJ and Casie that their family name isn’t going to save them… tell them a storm is coming, and they better batton down the hatches… cast their spells… and find a thread of my hair left behind in the IIW bathroom so they can stick it in a voo-doo doll- tell them to do WHATEVER they want, WHATEVER they can, because one by one, I’m going to turn the Coven’s reign of terror into a rained out Halloween night.”

Tigran hits end at the moment she nods and the video remains easily accessible to the IIW fans. Solace turns around, dropping her phone to the bed, and continues packing. Tigran asks Ducky if he has to go out and guides him with a hand on his collar towards the sliding door.

As Tigran does this, Solace pauses, watching him through the door and can't help but smile. She never imagined she could feel this way about a person- but admitting it to Tigran would be a mucher harder feat. She just isn't ready.

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